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A Word from Kimberly

14 January 2011

Kimberly Warren

I don’t normally repost things from other peoples blogs, but this is an exception. Kimberly is my sister and I’ve asked her permission to  pass on this particular blog entry.  As for my reasons for wanting to exhibit her story on ASF?  When I was in elementary school I had gigantic coke bottle glasses, a corrective self adhesive eye patch, and a chip in my front tooth where a bully had pushed me on the ground and kicked me with both feet in the face.   Didn’t we all though?       – Radical Warren

How to Create an Awkward Little Girl

Today I met an eleven-year-old girl who was getting her first pair of glasses. Her mother told me that next week the girl is going to have braces put on. This means that, by next year, she’ll be in the seventh grade with glasses and braces. And everyone knows that the seventh grade is single cruelest thing ever created (this list goes something like, The seventh grade, Hitler, the DMV, and so on*), and I really wanted to say something to make her feel better, because the mother had gone to the trouble to tell me she was getting braces, but all I could come up with was, “I had glasses and braces at your age. If nothing else, it’ll give you a lot of material for your future comedy routine.”

Its my ability to give stellar life lessons that makes me a good optometric technician. Maybe.

*I know what you’re probably thinking. Hilter is eviler than the seventh grade. Well, you can just go right on believing that if you want, but all I’m saying is, Hitler had to endure the seventh grade. And if his seventh grade experience was anything like my seventh grade experience, it explains a lot of his lifestyle choices.

- Kimberly Warren